Current mood:

drained

My week needs a bipolar diagnosis
This week has been weird. I feel like things have either been really horrible or really great. Actually, I can't really remember much of this week, so only those extreme aspects are sticking out. Anyway, last night in the middle of poker, my mom told me that my classmate's brother/professor's son died a few nights ago in a car accident. He simply was speeding and lost control. I can't imagine how they must all feel right now...I can come close to understanding their pain, but not really. It's so scary how much life can change in an instant. I realize that statement is made all of the time, but it's so true. He was only 21.

This morning I found out that one of my patients died yesterday in a car accident as well. I don't know if it was suicide or an accident. I doubt I'll ever find out, but maybe I just don't want to know. What if I didn't do enough for her...

On a brighter note, my dad got the results of his diagnostic tests back. He's been off all treatment for almost 2 months now, so they can actually see where he stands. At the beginning of all of this (last March/April) they gave him 6 months to live. So...I found out yesterday afternoon that the tests confirm NO CANCER. I can't really fathom it yet. It's pretty unbelievable. There is no way that he should have done that well in treatment. It's beginning to renew my faith...I really don't know what else to attribute his success. This is great news, but unfortunately it was somewhat short lived. Turns out another test shows suspicious spots in his legs, so he's getting an MRI to confirm if it's cancer or not. There is a chance that it is just very active bone marrow regenerating after all of the chemo. It just kinda sucked, cause when my dad gave me the good news, he failed to mention this other part. Anyway, yesterday it kinda sucked all the joy out of me, but today I'm really thankful and happy again. Even if it is a new spot in his leg, it's treatable by radiation. Regardless, the fact that the HUGE tumor in his esophagus and all of the tumors on his spine are gone is an absolute miracle. Gone gone gone. It's amazing.

So yeah, a few days of major ups and major downs. It's quite exhausting. I'm excited for the weekend...tonight is date night and Mike's turn to plan. Tomorrow, Mike and I are going to the game with Ricky (as usual), Chris and Elena. Football makes me feel better, so it should be a good day (if we win, of course). I think I have an unreasonable amount of confidence in my team, so in my mind, we've got this one in the bag.

I think now I'll take a quick nap before Mike comes to get me. I'm exhausted from my stupid job. I'm trying so hard not to let it get me too depressed. I apologize to everyone for complaining about it so much.
Hope everyone has a safe and fun weekend.